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Valentine's Day & The Single Girl - A Friend Or A Foe?

  • Writer: Aliya Thobani
    Aliya Thobani
  • Mar 29, 2020
  • 4 min read

Updated: Apr 21, 2020



3 years ago, I had walked into a fine dining restaurant by myself and asked the hostess for a table for one; the response I got was "Oh! i'm so sorry you're alone, here let me get you a table".


I was hoping the table was by the window so I could enjoy the view outside, but life is not fair all the time right? I ended up getting a table bang in the center of the restaurant with all couples surrounding me. So, it was either I stare at them - which would be creepy - or browse my phone as I ate.


I then thought about what the hostess had mentioned and wondered why she was sorry that I was alone. Was it the perception that if one was alone it that meant they were lonely? I, on the other hand, was raised to be a strong, independent woman by my mother (the apple does not fall far from the tree), and that the notion of eating or traveling alone was not a foreign concept to me.

"Oh! I'm so sorry you're alone, here let me get you a table"

It was only after I had talked to a few people that I found out that most of them would be uncomfortable with dining alone. Add the pressure of Valentine's day where the town is painted red, LITERALLY , with all things love for couples, red flowers, red heart-shaped candies, romantic dinners for two etc., the pressure for single people increases.


This is backed by a survey by AskMen where of a 1000 people, 9/10 singles feel the pressure on Valentine's day. Another survey of 2,200 men and women (equal split) revealed that 22.5% felt lonely, where as 9% admitted they they were downright depressed.


Now I could have treated this whole ordeal as a negative experience on Valentine's day, thus labeling it as a foe, but instead, I wanted to empower others. So here are my top 10 tips on what to do for Valentine's day if you are single.


Aliya's top 10 tips for singles on Valentine's Day


  1. Plan a date with friends. There's a new alternate holiday for your gal pals called Galentine's day. Go out with the girls and make it a fun night out, or even stay in and have a party.

  2. Treat yourself to your favorite coffee place, or eat at your favorite restaurant, or be adventurous and try a new restaurant. I tend to do this almost all the time - don't have to wait for Valentine's day.

  3. Cook that special meal. Before you start dessert, you'll need an appetizer and main course right? Go on, make some chicken wings and a juicy steak, lobster and side of garlic mashed potatoes (I know I would!). After that, eat chocolate because why not! Bake treats from cookies to cakes, like my personal favorite - the Chocolate Marble Love Cake by Valerie Bertinelli. And if it's healthy snacks you want, then bake those too! Whip it up and share with your family, friends and keep a stash for yourself.

  4. Send "I love you" texts to family and friends, or spend time with them. If you do, then don't forget to take flowers for them. Tip: Flowers are expensive on Valentine's day, so get yours a day before or the day after.

  5. Pamper yourself. Get a facial, a massage, a blow out, a manicure and pedicure combo, or just chill in a hot tub. My go to place has always been the RnR Spa at the Fairmont Palliser in #yyc. Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to visit the Ayasofya Hurrem Sultan Hamam, a Turkish bath in Istanbul. It was such a magnificent experience that I had to blog about it and have also highlighted the benefits of a Turkish Bath. See my blogs: Life section. For another spa option closer to home in Canada, check out the Kananaskis Nordic Spa - this is definitely on my list.

  6. Buy yourself a gift. It could be flowers, clothes, jewelry , technology etc. The world is yours as long as you spend wisely and are able to pay your credit card off. For ideas, go to the AT Shop section.

  7. Go to the movies. Many would suggest stay home, watch movies and order in. But that would be a normal Friday night if you are anything like me. Make this a special day for yourself. Go watch a Hollywood Blockbuster movie and while you're at it, grab a large popcorn or nachos, a huge drink, sit on those comfy recliner seats and enjoy the show!

  8. Do a fun activity. Work out, release those endorphins and feel good! You could do a dance class; you never know, you may just meet someone there. Life is also full of surprises. If you're in a cold country, try a thrilling activity like a day of dog sledding or if in a warm place, a day of horseback riding.

  9. Volunteer. Spend quality time with seniors, orphans or in homeless shelters helping the needy. Most of them feel lonely and seek company. Give them joy for a few hours and you'll feel better - I promise! For ideas on charity organizations, check out my Philanthropy section.

  10. Take a trip. Explore a new city with friends or as a solo traveler. Life is short and the world is vast. Not only will you make new friends, but will also come back with beautiful memories of your adventure which will always stay with you. So, are your bags packed?


Everyday should be Valentine's day. Love yourself first and foremost (I can't emphasize that enough), and by default, others will love you. You attract what you are. Do whatever that makes you happy and always remember - you are lovable, you are worthy!

You attract what you are...you are lovable, you are worthy!

It is up to you to treat this holiday as a friend or a foe. Which one will it be?










 


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